Mel (cuttin_edgegoth) wrote in xlost_youthx,

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I think I'm ready to let go.
I honestly mean it this time. No more cutting, no more.
Today is 2 months without cutting. And I know I can make it much longer.
I can't believe I've made it... I'm better. And I didn't need god damn medication or a shrink. I didn't need a trip to the hospital. I didn't need any of it. I'm so proud of myself. I hope that all of you can be proud of me too.
Somehow I made it. This last year has been hell.... because I made it that way. But I think I needed it. I needed to think about my past constantly because that's the only way I would come to terms with it.
I am a musician. I am a lover. I am a friend. I am a poet. I am a girlfriend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a best friend. I am a student. I am fat. I am bisexual. I am outspoken. I am outgoing. I am a rape survivor. I am happy. I am Melissa. I am me and I am loved.
I was a self mutilator. I was depressed. I was abused. I was molested. I was sad. I was dependent. I was left alone. I was... I was... but I'm not anymore.
And now I can't stop smiling. Everything in my past are just memories. They will not hurt me anymore. I've cried over them too much. You need to spend some time on those memories and events... because I believe that is the only way you are going to get over it. I've made it! I've made it! I never thought I would.... but I did. I can do anything!!!

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